I got a phone call yesterday from a very special lady that was instrumental in me being where I am today. I found her youngest daughter through Facebook and we exchanged information and she called me. What a joy! I have not talked with her since 1977. I have lived a lifetime since I have seen or heard from her and her family.
I have to back up a few years to explain. I was living with my sister and her husband in Ft Worth and working at a drug store. I had moved there after graduating from high school. My parents were separated and I made the decision to go to work instead of to college. I was there for about 3 months when Toni called me and told me that she and her family had moved there to work in a church on the south side of Ft Worth. She wanted me to come to church with her. I was mixed up and had just recently broken off an engagement, so basically I just wanted to be left alone for a while. She was very kind to me and told me to call her if I needed anything. She discretely told me about a young man that was home from college because his dad was sick. She said he was such a nice young man and she just knew that I would enjoy meeting him. I told her I was not interested in church or her nice young man. That was in September.
The months dragged on and winter was headed our way. One night I was at my apartment and I just broke down and started crying. I was lonesome and had nowhere to go. I eventually picked up the phone and called Toni and asked her if she could meet me for church the next morning. I did not know until the next day that she had been out of town all week at a retreat and had just gotten home.
The next morning as I walked up the sidewalk of the church to find Toni, I looked up and saw her with a young man standing beside her. She introduced us and then explained that he would take me to the Sunday school room and then bring me back to her when it was over.
To make a long story short, we met, we talked, we went out on a date that evening and four days later he asked me to marry him. He had to return to school in mid January and he came home to see me about every four or five weeks until school was out for that year. We got married in June of that year (1974) and will celebrate our 37th year of knowing each other this year, December 16, 1973-2010.
Steve and I have done a whole lot of living in the past 37 years. We have 4 beautiful children and 7 grandchildren. We have done so many wonderful things together that it would take another lifetime to write it all down.
I look back after receiving this phone call yesterday and I know that it was ordained through God for Toni and Gary Perryman to move from Amarillo to Ft Worth so that I would have what I have today! To my friends Toni and Gary: I will forever be indebted to you for diligently sticking by me during a very rough period in my life.
Thank You seems like such a small thing to say, but there are no other words. From the bottom of my heart: I love you and I am so glad that God brought you into my life! I am also glad that He has given me the opportunity to once again have you back with me!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Fathers Day Without My Dad
Today is my first Father’s Day in 55 years that I do not have a dad to call or send a card or gift to. It feels odd, sad, and really weird but the reality is that my dad is no longer here with us. All I have today is memories to carry me through.
I remember when I was young my dad ran a service station. It was a Texaco station. My dad was so proud to wear that uniform. The Texaco slogan was:”You can trust your car to the man who wears the star” and my dad was that kind of man. If he worked on your car, it was fixed when he got through with it. We left there when I was 12, and all that remains is an empty building that has a faint outline of the word TEXACO.
My dad went on to work for Bell Helicopter in Amarillo, TX, Cummins Diesel, Fruehauf, and later moved to work at Lone Star Steel in East Texas, before retiring. He loved the lake and fishing was his favorite hobby. He loved to smoke meat for us when we would come to visit. He always made sure there was food on his table for us to enjoy. He was also a gardener. He has always had fresh veggies up until the last couple of years of his life. In an enviable way, my dad knew what he enjoyed and he did those things on a daily basis.
Times were not always easy with my dad, but isn’t it funny that when you let go of the bitterness you feel toward someone, the memories are good ones. My dad was headstrong, determined and things were to be done a certain way. But that was ok. At least he had a way for things to be done. He was meticulous about his tools, for which I am glad that has rubbed off on me. His tools were his livelihood. If you did take care of them…. You didn’t have anything to provide a living with.
As you go through today calling your dad, or having lunch with your dad or just visiting with your dad build some memories that will sustain you in years to come. Because, there will come a day when memories are all you have.
I remember when I was young my dad ran a service station. It was a Texaco station. My dad was so proud to wear that uniform. The Texaco slogan was:”You can trust your car to the man who wears the star” and my dad was that kind of man. If he worked on your car, it was fixed when he got through with it. We left there when I was 12, and all that remains is an empty building that has a faint outline of the word TEXACO.
My dad went on to work for Bell Helicopter in Amarillo, TX, Cummins Diesel, Fruehauf, and later moved to work at Lone Star Steel in East Texas, before retiring. He loved the lake and fishing was his favorite hobby. He loved to smoke meat for us when we would come to visit. He always made sure there was food on his table for us to enjoy. He was also a gardener. He has always had fresh veggies up until the last couple of years of his life. In an enviable way, my dad knew what he enjoyed and he did those things on a daily basis.
Times were not always easy with my dad, but isn’t it funny that when you let go of the bitterness you feel toward someone, the memories are good ones. My dad was headstrong, determined and things were to be done a certain way. But that was ok. At least he had a way for things to be done. He was meticulous about his tools, for which I am glad that has rubbed off on me. His tools were his livelihood. If you did take care of them…. You didn’t have anything to provide a living with.
As you go through today calling your dad, or having lunch with your dad or just visiting with your dad build some memories that will sustain you in years to come. Because, there will come a day when memories are all you have.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
A Screeching Halt
I find it amazing and a little humorous at what it takes for us to come to a complete halt in what we are doing. For me, it was a blown out back. I mean hurt, gut-wrenching pain that stopped me in my tracks. I found myself in a position of ninty degrees, looking at the ground when trying to stand up. I have found after 2 trips to the emergency room at 2 different hospitals, CT scans and x-rays and numerous iv’s and pain medications, and 7 trips to a chiropractor that I have damaged my sciatic nerve in the lower portion of my back. Needless to say, I have found what makes me stop in my tracks.
During the past 2 weeks I have been out of my bed only for a bath, shower and doctor visits. I tried to get up and eat at the table, but that did not work well. It is very interesting to just lay here and watch the world go by around you. My mom, sister and her family are headed to the Bahamas. My inlaws have headed to Sweetwater, Tennessee for a weekend getaway. My daughter is teaching a class this morning. My granddaughter is going to go see Toy Story 3 at the new movie theater. My nephew and his wife are taking his 2 kids to see the movie also. Two of my best friends are just getting back from youth camp. Steve has mowed the lawn, cleaned the truck and is headed up to the car wash with my vehicle. He has asked me to make a grocery list and see what we have in the pantry that we can work with for food next week. Humm…. That would require standing up.
I am not whining about not being able to move. I am more intrigued with what it feels like and what it does to my emotions to not be able to move. I never really think much about what it is like to have to be totally still or even just not be able to get myself around. Steve has been waiting on me all week, bringing me food and water and whatever I needed. I don’t sit around much, so this is really difficult if just from the physical stand point. I have not been able to do one single thing in the last week that I do on a normal basis.
And you are thinking…. So, what is your point? Thought you would never ask. I find that I am needed. I do a lot to help make some other people’s lives easier. I have an encouraging spirit that is missed and therefore someone that would normally have a perky attitude is having a rough week. Someone that normally has a smile on their face because I helped put it there with some silly, witty wise crack or joke is not smiling today. Maybe there was a woman that walked into my work place and had just received some disturbing news about her health and needed the encouragement to start working out with us, but I was not there to smile, hug her and tell her that we are going to help her get through this. My point is that all of us have something that someone else needs. I am nothing special, except through the Lord. I know that if I am willing, He can use me in mighty ways. Not necessarily to rock the house down, just to help someone make it through something. We are all connected to each other. I think about my Bryan and his infectious smile and silly giggle. There are a lot of people that need to hear that on a daily basis. I think about my mom and her ability to just listen, and I know she has a lot of people that depend on her to do just that. I think about my grandchildren and wonder what will be in store for them.
Don't sell yourself short. God has many purposes for you being here today. Think about your abilities and then about those whose lives you touch and what they would be like without you. There will most likely be places were you can say "Job well done!" and places where you may need to step it up a bit. Who in your life is looking at you and you are the only "Jesus" they will ever know?
During the past 2 weeks I have been out of my bed only for a bath, shower and doctor visits. I tried to get up and eat at the table, but that did not work well. It is very interesting to just lay here and watch the world go by around you. My mom, sister and her family are headed to the Bahamas. My inlaws have headed to Sweetwater, Tennessee for a weekend getaway. My daughter is teaching a class this morning. My granddaughter is going to go see Toy Story 3 at the new movie theater. My nephew and his wife are taking his 2 kids to see the movie also. Two of my best friends are just getting back from youth camp. Steve has mowed the lawn, cleaned the truck and is headed up to the car wash with my vehicle. He has asked me to make a grocery list and see what we have in the pantry that we can work with for food next week. Humm…. That would require standing up.
I am not whining about not being able to move. I am more intrigued with what it feels like and what it does to my emotions to not be able to move. I never really think much about what it is like to have to be totally still or even just not be able to get myself around. Steve has been waiting on me all week, bringing me food and water and whatever I needed. I don’t sit around much, so this is really difficult if just from the physical stand point. I have not been able to do one single thing in the last week that I do on a normal basis.
And you are thinking…. So, what is your point? Thought you would never ask. I find that I am needed. I do a lot to help make some other people’s lives easier. I have an encouraging spirit that is missed and therefore someone that would normally have a perky attitude is having a rough week. Someone that normally has a smile on their face because I helped put it there with some silly, witty wise crack or joke is not smiling today. Maybe there was a woman that walked into my work place and had just received some disturbing news about her health and needed the encouragement to start working out with us, but I was not there to smile, hug her and tell her that we are going to help her get through this. My point is that all of us have something that someone else needs. I am nothing special, except through the Lord. I know that if I am willing, He can use me in mighty ways. Not necessarily to rock the house down, just to help someone make it through something. We are all connected to each other. I think about my Bryan and his infectious smile and silly giggle. There are a lot of people that need to hear that on a daily basis. I think about my mom and her ability to just listen, and I know she has a lot of people that depend on her to do just that. I think about my grandchildren and wonder what will be in store for them.
Don't sell yourself short. God has many purposes for you being here today. Think about your abilities and then about those whose lives you touch and what they would be like without you. There will most likely be places were you can say "Job well done!" and places where you may need to step it up a bit. Who in your life is looking at you and you are the only "Jesus" they will ever know?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Changing MY Family Tree
I have spent the past 6 weeks in Texas with my family due to the death of my dad. I have visited places that I have not seen in over 35 years. I have also spent time with my sisters and their families that I have not had the luxury of doing for many years.
I have had lots of time to reflect on my days of growing up in a small rural town in north Texas where the terrain is so flat that you can literally see for miles and miles. There is an abundance of oil wells, long horn cattle and cotton farming as far as the eye can see. I spent several days with my relatives in a small town known for growing cotton. I talked extensively with my uncle, who has been farming for as long as I can remember. They have 2 cotton gins in their community that have been going non-stop since just after Thanksgiving of last year. Even though for them it has been a hectic, productive season, I find that stepping into their world is such a change of pace. It is calm and serene. They are overflowing with manners and hospitality. I was made to feel like a very special guest in their home, when in reality I am just one of 8 nieces and nephews that have passed through their doors.
After spending the time with my family, I am determined to change some things in my life and continue to teach my adult children and lead them by example. I spent quite a bit of time with my mom trying to help her figure out what she is going to do, now that my dad is gone. After extensive research with past expenses, we spent hours trying to figure out if she could remain in the house she is in, or is she going to have to pack up and move to a smaller cheaper place. My mom talked extensively about her and dads financial business. I find it odd that they would not discuss any of this with us when he was alive. It was like they had this income and was afraid we would want it. I guess what I am trying to say and doing a poor job of it is that this generation seems to always be afraid someone is going to take something from them. I know that no one is going to take my money, unless I let them. This is just a small example of a difference in generations and how they deal with life. My parents have set back and waited for the day when they could retire and the government would take care of them with social security… and now find that it is not enough…. But they have no time to really do anything about it. They complain because they did not get a $20 a month cost of living raise, like this is really going to make them rich. I hope this does not come across like I am bashing my parents, I am not. This is the reality of where they are as a generation that came through the great depression and had to scrap to have food on their table. They learned some hard lessons about life that I will never know about.
On the other hand, I hope real retirement never comes for me. I am on a journey to find a new career at age 55 and can’t wait to see what is around the corner for me. I also want my adult children and my grand children to know what money is and to know how to make it behave. I want them to be blessed, have enough of it to enjoy life and know how to boss it around instead of it running, or ruining their life. I want them to know how to make their money behave just as I expect them to teach their children to behave.
I have also been painfully reminded of a man that did not know how to show love. I was over forty years old before my dad really got the concept of putting his arms around me and telling me that he loved me. Now that he is gone, I have late memories of him always telling me bye and crying and telling me how much he loved me. My last words with him were at Christmas this past year when I spent an afternoon in their home.
As I visited the panhandle this past month with my mom I was fully aware of how blessed I was to have grandparents and aunts and uncles around me to give me some wonderful memories to carry me through life. For whatever this generation of my parents was or was not…they knew how to welcome you into their home and show you true Texan hospitality. I went back to places from my childhood memories to find comfort in the memories of visiting my grandparents during the summers, only to find that the houses were gone, or in shambles. Nothing was like I remember it to be.
I am thankful that others have gone before me in life and I am not the first one trying to figure this out. I am glad that I have examples and I have the freedom to choose what I like and do not like. I have the freedom to make choices of the road I want my life to take. I want to set an example for my children and grandchildren, knowing that they will look at what I have done and they will have the privilege of choosing whether to follow in these footsteps or make prints of their own. As the snow continues to fall today, I look out on my deck and wonder what their footprints will look like years from now. I wish for them to have a life that they will be pleased with and that will be pleasing to the Lord. I want them to be kind to each other, to love each other and to accept the differences we have within our family. I want them to understand that we are leaving our legacy behind for others to have as their own.
I have had lots of time to reflect on my days of growing up in a small rural town in north Texas where the terrain is so flat that you can literally see for miles and miles. There is an abundance of oil wells, long horn cattle and cotton farming as far as the eye can see. I spent several days with my relatives in a small town known for growing cotton. I talked extensively with my uncle, who has been farming for as long as I can remember. They have 2 cotton gins in their community that have been going non-stop since just after Thanksgiving of last year. Even though for them it has been a hectic, productive season, I find that stepping into their world is such a change of pace. It is calm and serene. They are overflowing with manners and hospitality. I was made to feel like a very special guest in their home, when in reality I am just one of 8 nieces and nephews that have passed through their doors.
After spending the time with my family, I am determined to change some things in my life and continue to teach my adult children and lead them by example. I spent quite a bit of time with my mom trying to help her figure out what she is going to do, now that my dad is gone. After extensive research with past expenses, we spent hours trying to figure out if she could remain in the house she is in, or is she going to have to pack up and move to a smaller cheaper place. My mom talked extensively about her and dads financial business. I find it odd that they would not discuss any of this with us when he was alive. It was like they had this income and was afraid we would want it. I guess what I am trying to say and doing a poor job of it is that this generation seems to always be afraid someone is going to take something from them. I know that no one is going to take my money, unless I let them. This is just a small example of a difference in generations and how they deal with life. My parents have set back and waited for the day when they could retire and the government would take care of them with social security… and now find that it is not enough…. But they have no time to really do anything about it. They complain because they did not get a $20 a month cost of living raise, like this is really going to make them rich. I hope this does not come across like I am bashing my parents, I am not. This is the reality of where they are as a generation that came through the great depression and had to scrap to have food on their table. They learned some hard lessons about life that I will never know about.
On the other hand, I hope real retirement never comes for me. I am on a journey to find a new career at age 55 and can’t wait to see what is around the corner for me. I also want my adult children and my grand children to know what money is and to know how to make it behave. I want them to be blessed, have enough of it to enjoy life and know how to boss it around instead of it running, or ruining their life. I want them to know how to make their money behave just as I expect them to teach their children to behave.
I have also been painfully reminded of a man that did not know how to show love. I was over forty years old before my dad really got the concept of putting his arms around me and telling me that he loved me. Now that he is gone, I have late memories of him always telling me bye and crying and telling me how much he loved me. My last words with him were at Christmas this past year when I spent an afternoon in their home.
As I visited the panhandle this past month with my mom I was fully aware of how blessed I was to have grandparents and aunts and uncles around me to give me some wonderful memories to carry me through life. For whatever this generation of my parents was or was not…they knew how to welcome you into their home and show you true Texan hospitality. I went back to places from my childhood memories to find comfort in the memories of visiting my grandparents during the summers, only to find that the houses were gone, or in shambles. Nothing was like I remember it to be.
I am thankful that others have gone before me in life and I am not the first one trying to figure this out. I am glad that I have examples and I have the freedom to choose what I like and do not like. I have the freedom to make choices of the road I want my life to take. I want to set an example for my children and grandchildren, knowing that they will look at what I have done and they will have the privilege of choosing whether to follow in these footsteps or make prints of their own. As the snow continues to fall today, I look out on my deck and wonder what their footprints will look like years from now. I wish for them to have a life that they will be pleased with and that will be pleasing to the Lord. I want them to be kind to each other, to love each other and to accept the differences we have within our family. I want them to understand that we are leaving our legacy behind for others to have as their own.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Time is Marching On
I have spent a truly amazing day with some of my family here in the Houston area. My mom and I drove here yesterday from Burleson. We have managed to see all of my kids and grand kids and my sister’s twin step sons. We spent the morning playing with kids and then took my mom to one of her favorite restaurants for lunch. Mom and I kept Lindsay and Shelby while their parents took off to get some supplies for this next week. Both of the girls went off to sleep and mom and I sat by the fireplace and watched a little tv. I am reminded of how simple something can be, but still have so much meaning. It was good to see my mom relaxed and at home in my youngest daughter’s house.
We took off this afternoon for downtown Houston to met Jarrod and Tyler at Rice University. They met us outside their dorm and showed us around the campus. What an experience it was for my mom to see something that she has just heard them talk about. I have watched my mom on this trip, making sure that she was physically up to doing everything that we were putting in front of her. She walked all around the campus with us and went up to see both of the boys dorm rooms. She asked a lot of questions and was truly interested in their lives. After we toured the campus Jarrod and Tyler asked us to go out to eat with them. Angie and her family met us in downtown Houston where we ate and visited. My mom is 83 years young and truly amazes me.
As I pulled up my Blog tonight I was once again sharply reminded that my dad is no longer with us and that is why my mom and I are hear in Houston visiting family. I sat for a few minutes pondering how my dad would react to what we have done today and I know that he would be very proud for what Mom has seen and done. My mom has spent the past 3 years taking sole responsibility of my dad. She only left the house to attend church on Sunday morning and also to buy groceries and medicine. I watch her and see that time has not stood still for her while she was doing this. She is not quite as quick on her feet as she was 3 years ago. She also tires a little quicker than she used to. I am trying to get used to Mom in a different way. I find myself waiting on her instead of her waiting on me. I am finding this to be a privilege instead of a burden. I find myself wondering how many more years I will get to have with her, all the time aware that time itself is marching on, waiting for no one.
I do not know what tomorrow holds for any of us. I look at my 5 precious grandchildren and wonder if they will get to know me like my kids know their grandmother. As time marches on, I am making a commitment to fill my life with as much happiness, hope and positive affirmation for my family that is humanly possible to pack into each moment. I am once again reminded that I cannot control time, I can only control what I do with myself during time.
We took off this afternoon for downtown Houston to met Jarrod and Tyler at Rice University. They met us outside their dorm and showed us around the campus. What an experience it was for my mom to see something that she has just heard them talk about. I have watched my mom on this trip, making sure that she was physically up to doing everything that we were putting in front of her. She walked all around the campus with us and went up to see both of the boys dorm rooms. She asked a lot of questions and was truly interested in their lives. After we toured the campus Jarrod and Tyler asked us to go out to eat with them. Angie and her family met us in downtown Houston where we ate and visited. My mom is 83 years young and truly amazes me.
As I pulled up my Blog tonight I was once again sharply reminded that my dad is no longer with us and that is why my mom and I are hear in Houston visiting family. I sat for a few minutes pondering how my dad would react to what we have done today and I know that he would be very proud for what Mom has seen and done. My mom has spent the past 3 years taking sole responsibility of my dad. She only left the house to attend church on Sunday morning and also to buy groceries and medicine. I watch her and see that time has not stood still for her while she was doing this. She is not quite as quick on her feet as she was 3 years ago. She also tires a little quicker than she used to. I am trying to get used to Mom in a different way. I find myself waiting on her instead of her waiting on me. I am finding this to be a privilege instead of a burden. I find myself wondering how many more years I will get to have with her, all the time aware that time itself is marching on, waiting for no one.
I do not know what tomorrow holds for any of us. I look at my 5 precious grandchildren and wonder if they will get to know me like my kids know their grandmother. As time marches on, I am making a commitment to fill my life with as much happiness, hope and positive affirmation for my family that is humanly possible to pack into each moment. I am once again reminded that I cannot control time, I can only control what I do with myself during time.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
As I am here in Texas with my Mom, I begin to wonder where the years have gone. It seems like yesterday that I was there getting ready for school, trying to figure out who was going to take me, who was going to pick me up. I remember eating Cheerios and hiding behind the box and adding sugar to my bowl. I had to hide because dad did not want me to add sugar. I remember selling snowcones during the summer to earn clother for the next school year. I remember my parents scraping money together to buy my uniforms for being on the drill team in high school.
I took mom to visit one of her cousins today, and she told her story of loosing her dad 2 months before she was born and then loosing her mom at the age of 6. They were taken down to the orphanage by their grandparents, who wanted to find a good home for them. Her grandparents decided to keep her and her sister and do the best they could with what they had. This all happened approximately eighty years ago. I was amazed at this strong lady that has lost her parents and 2 of her sons, and still acts like she has something to smile about. What a special lady! I think God knew that I needed her in my life today.
As I look at pictures we took this past week of my children and their spouses and their children, I am so proud of where I am today. I have 4 beautiful children that love the Lord, spouses that love my children and 5 beautiful grandchildren that will someday know Him. I am blessed.
I took mom to visit one of her cousins today, and she told her story of loosing her dad 2 months before she was born and then loosing her mom at the age of 6. They were taken down to the orphanage by their grandparents, who wanted to find a good home for them. Her grandparents decided to keep her and her sister and do the best they could with what they had. This all happened approximately eighty years ago. I was amazed at this strong lady that has lost her parents and 2 of her sons, and still acts like she has something to smile about. What a special lady! I think God knew that I needed her in my life today.
As I look at pictures we took this past week of my children and their spouses and their children, I am so proud of where I am today. I have 4 beautiful children that love the Lord, spouses that love my children and 5 beautiful grandchildren that will someday know Him. I am blessed.
Friday, January 22, 2010
A Tribute To My Dad
I received news Wednesday morning that my dad had passed from this world and it has sent me into the past with a flood of memories. His early years were spent trying to learn about being a cotton farmer. It was not his first love, but he wanted to try and see if he could do it. His first love was auto mechanics. I remember when I was very young riding in the back of the cotton trailer with him late one evening, I think he was trying to get as much of it harvested as he could. I do not know why we were with him, but I do remember as the sun started going down it was getting cold, so we rode in the back trailer where the cotton was being held.
I also remember as a 5th grader he set my older sister and I up with a snow cone shop in his service station. This was a way that we could earn money to buy clothes for the next school year. Shirley and I worked 2 summers earning money through selling snow cones.
Dad had a love for music. He could play the guitar, the banjo and the harmonica. When he was a teenager, on Saturday night he would hang out with Bob Wills and would play with their band in Turkey, Texas.
Dad liked to hunt and fish. His idea of a vacation was to go sit on the bank of a nearby lake and relax.
When I think back on my dad, I think about a man that had commom sense and had a heart to help others. My sisters and I laugh because he only went through the 9th grade in school, but he would help us do our algebra homework when we were in high school. I know that each of us will have our own stories to tell about this man.
We are going to have a celebration this weekend in honor of him. We have friends and family coming in from all different places and walks of life. It will be interesting to hear how each one remembers my dad. They will all have different stories to tell about him.
I am proud for my dad that he is being laid to rest in the Ft Worth/Dallas Memorial Cemetary. He said that it would be a honor and I think it is fitting for a man that spent several years of his life defending his country for family and friends that he wanted to protect.
His Obituary: RL Nivens, 88, a retired auto mechanic and welder, of Burleson, died Wednesday Jan. 20, 2010 in Fort Worth. Graveside Service: 10:30 A.M. Tuesday Jan. 26, 2010 at D-FW National Cemetery. Visitation: 3-5 P.M. Sunday at Mountain Valley Funeral Home. RL was born November 28, 1921 in Slaton, Texas to Ernest G. and Virgie Jo Roberts Nivens. RL proudly served his country in the U.S. Army. He married Willa Dean Gowdy on July 25, 1952 in Lakeview, Tx. RL was a loving husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather. He loved spending time with family and friends, fishing, hunting, gardening, playing dominoes and barbequing. RL was also known for his growing and eating hot peppers. Survivors: Wife, Willa Dean Nivens, of Burleson; daughters, Shirley Spier and husband Jack of Burleson, Teresa Chittenden and husband Steve of Acworth, Ga., Billie Boyd and husband Jerry of Burleson; 12 grandchildren; 12 great grandchildren; numerous relatives, friends and extended family.
I also remember as a 5th grader he set my older sister and I up with a snow cone shop in his service station. This was a way that we could earn money to buy clothes for the next school year. Shirley and I worked 2 summers earning money through selling snow cones.
Dad had a love for music. He could play the guitar, the banjo and the harmonica. When he was a teenager, on Saturday night he would hang out with Bob Wills and would play with their band in Turkey, Texas.
Dad liked to hunt and fish. His idea of a vacation was to go sit on the bank of a nearby lake and relax.
When I think back on my dad, I think about a man that had commom sense and had a heart to help others. My sisters and I laugh because he only went through the 9th grade in school, but he would help us do our algebra homework when we were in high school. I know that each of us will have our own stories to tell about this man.
We are going to have a celebration this weekend in honor of him. We have friends and family coming in from all different places and walks of life. It will be interesting to hear how each one remembers my dad. They will all have different stories to tell about him.
I am proud for my dad that he is being laid to rest in the Ft Worth/Dallas Memorial Cemetary. He said that it would be a honor and I think it is fitting for a man that spent several years of his life defending his country for family and friends that he wanted to protect.
His Obituary: RL Nivens, 88, a retired auto mechanic and welder, of Burleson, died Wednesday Jan. 20, 2010 in Fort Worth. Graveside Service: 10:30 A.M. Tuesday Jan. 26, 2010 at D-FW National Cemetery. Visitation: 3-5 P.M. Sunday at Mountain Valley Funeral Home. RL was born November 28, 1921 in Slaton, Texas to Ernest G. and Virgie Jo Roberts Nivens. RL proudly served his country in the U.S. Army. He married Willa Dean Gowdy on July 25, 1952 in Lakeview, Tx. RL was a loving husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather. He loved spending time with family and friends, fishing, hunting, gardening, playing dominoes and barbequing. RL was also known for his growing and eating hot peppers. Survivors: Wife, Willa Dean Nivens, of Burleson; daughters, Shirley Spier and husband Jack of Burleson, Teresa Chittenden and husband Steve of Acworth, Ga., Billie Boyd and husband Jerry of Burleson; 12 grandchildren; 12 great grandchildren; numerous relatives, friends and extended family.
Monday, January 11, 2010
In Honor of a Five Year Old
Do you ever wonder why someone is put in your path? Why, out of all the people in this world, did you meet them? Or maybe you have known someone for years and just learned about one of their family members. Such is the case with me and this precious little five year girl named Elizabeth Danielle Bailey.
This story goes back to when I was 12 years old and I moved from my little town of Hedley, Texas to a larger town about an hour away. We moved because my dad had found work there and he had been traveling each week back and forth, coming home on the weekends. My whole world was rocked, because I had never known anywhere else except this little quaint town. It was filled with hard working cotton farmers who were working sun up to sun down just to keep alive. We had the summer to settle in and we met a family across the street that had a girl my age and one my older sisters age. At least I had one person to say hi to when I walked into my new school. After several days of school I met a girl that was in several of my classes and found out that she lived just down the street from me. Danita and I got to be best of friends and stayed friends all the way through high school. I could go on and on with stories about her and I. But that is not this story.
Danita had 2 sisters, Becky was just 4 years younger than us and then Heidi was about 10 years younger. When I would visit Danita at her house, Becky was always there and always so sweet to me. I just remember her beautiful long blond hair and her sweet smile and sparkly eyes. I actually ran into Becky at Silver State Youth Camp shortly after I was married. We talked breifly and she told me that Danita was married and had moved to Montana. Wow!
Just recently I logged into Classmates.com and found Danita and we have been writing back and forth now for several months. When I asked her about her parents and siblings she started to tell me about Becky and her granddaughter, Elizabeth. Her family calls her Eli. Thanks to a site called CarePages.com I have been able to go back to the beginning of when this little girl was first diagnosed and read through the journal of them walking through this ordeal. She has a brain tumor and just recently they have found a cyst on the tumor. She has been through numerous surgeries, chemo, radiation and is now fighting for her life. She is a beautiful little girl that knows Jesus. But in reality she is scared, or maybe terrified. She is continually in and out of Childrens Hospital in Denver. It is life itself and what it is handing her on a daily basis that tramatizes her. The reality is that they talk to her about what they are going to have to do, they put her to sleep and when she wakes up.... she either has more tubes running out of her or she is hurting. This would terrify any adult, can you imagine being five year old and going through this?
Because of a relationship over 43 years ago, I know the roots of this family. I know they are committed to the Christian walk. They are sure of their salvation and have taught 2 generations this same walk. They are a living testimony of what it means to Walk with the Lord. When I read posting about Elizabeth, I am in awe of what this little girl is enduring. I try to think of a nick name for her and the only one that comes to mind is Brave Heart. I never saw the movie, so some might think it does not fit..... but just to look at these two words..... I think the words describe her.
Lord, thank you for putting this relationship in my life many years ago, rekindling this friendship this past year, and showing me a young life that truly does put her life in your hands. Amen!
This story goes back to when I was 12 years old and I moved from my little town of Hedley, Texas to a larger town about an hour away. We moved because my dad had found work there and he had been traveling each week back and forth, coming home on the weekends. My whole world was rocked, because I had never known anywhere else except this little quaint town. It was filled with hard working cotton farmers who were working sun up to sun down just to keep alive. We had the summer to settle in and we met a family across the street that had a girl my age and one my older sisters age. At least I had one person to say hi to when I walked into my new school. After several days of school I met a girl that was in several of my classes and found out that she lived just down the street from me. Danita and I got to be best of friends and stayed friends all the way through high school. I could go on and on with stories about her and I. But that is not this story.
Danita had 2 sisters, Becky was just 4 years younger than us and then Heidi was about 10 years younger. When I would visit Danita at her house, Becky was always there and always so sweet to me. I just remember her beautiful long blond hair and her sweet smile and sparkly eyes. I actually ran into Becky at Silver State Youth Camp shortly after I was married. We talked breifly and she told me that Danita was married and had moved to Montana. Wow!
Just recently I logged into Classmates.com and found Danita and we have been writing back and forth now for several months. When I asked her about her parents and siblings she started to tell me about Becky and her granddaughter, Elizabeth. Her family calls her Eli. Thanks to a site called CarePages.com I have been able to go back to the beginning of when this little girl was first diagnosed and read through the journal of them walking through this ordeal. She has a brain tumor and just recently they have found a cyst on the tumor. She has been through numerous surgeries, chemo, radiation and is now fighting for her life. She is a beautiful little girl that knows Jesus. But in reality she is scared, or maybe terrified. She is continually in and out of Childrens Hospital in Denver. It is life itself and what it is handing her on a daily basis that tramatizes her. The reality is that they talk to her about what they are going to have to do, they put her to sleep and when she wakes up.... she either has more tubes running out of her or she is hurting. This would terrify any adult, can you imagine being five year old and going through this?
Because of a relationship over 43 years ago, I know the roots of this family. I know they are committed to the Christian walk. They are sure of their salvation and have taught 2 generations this same walk. They are a living testimony of what it means to Walk with the Lord. When I read posting about Elizabeth, I am in awe of what this little girl is enduring. I try to think of a nick name for her and the only one that comes to mind is Brave Heart. I never saw the movie, so some might think it does not fit..... but just to look at these two words..... I think the words describe her.
Lord, thank you for putting this relationship in my life many years ago, rekindling this friendship this past year, and showing me a young life that truly does put her life in your hands. Amen!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Reflection
As I study and search for what I am going to do with the next 20 years of my life, I cannot help but reflect back on the past 20 years. I have, with the help of my soul mate raised 4 children to adulthood, gone back to college, started a career in interior design and worked for the second largest retailer in America for 13 years. Through work I have helped hundreds of clients fulfill their dreams for their homes. I have seen all four of my children graduate from high school and take some form of college classes. I have seen them start careers, start families and start making a home for themselves. I have also been there to see 5 precious grandchildren brought into this world.
It is not that I feel like my job is done with my children even though they are grown and have been away from home for quite some time now. But they need their space. They need to stand up and fall down and pick themselves up again without me being right there hovering over them. I think they all know that I am there if they really need help. My job has just changed when it comes to my children. It requires less of my physical time and energy, but more of my prayer time and energy. I want for each one of them to soar like an eagle. Not as I would soar, but as they want to soar. I want them to find what makes them truly happy and contented and do it! I want them to be comfortable in their own skin and have a soul mate that will let them do and be and say what they feel is them. I want them to be kind and gentle to each other, strong when they need to take a stand that they truly believe in and never give in to being anything other than their true selves. When they see a reflection, I want them to know who it is they are looking at, and like what they see. When they stand and look deep into their own eyes I want them to know they are doing their best with what the Lord has given them to work with.
Today I do not know what I will be doing 20 years from now. I want to continue, as I have tried to do all my life, helping others who cannot find the top of the hole because they have dug themselves so deep. I want to teach them how to stop digging. I know that God is stirring something up inside of me and I am nervous and excited about it all at the same time.
It is not that I feel like my job is done with my children even though they are grown and have been away from home for quite some time now. But they need their space. They need to stand up and fall down and pick themselves up again without me being right there hovering over them. I think they all know that I am there if they really need help. My job has just changed when it comes to my children. It requires less of my physical time and energy, but more of my prayer time and energy. I want for each one of them to soar like an eagle. Not as I would soar, but as they want to soar. I want them to find what makes them truly happy and contented and do it! I want them to be comfortable in their own skin and have a soul mate that will let them do and be and say what they feel is them. I want them to be kind and gentle to each other, strong when they need to take a stand that they truly believe in and never give in to being anything other than their true selves. When they see a reflection, I want them to know who it is they are looking at, and like what they see. When they stand and look deep into their own eyes I want them to know they are doing their best with what the Lord has given them to work with.
Today I do not know what I will be doing 20 years from now. I want to continue, as I have tried to do all my life, helping others who cannot find the top of the hole because they have dug themselves so deep. I want to teach them how to stop digging. I know that God is stirring something up inside of me and I am nervous and excited about it all at the same time.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Happy New Year
As we head into this new year I have been thinking back to a class that I took through Emory college on Time Management. Our instructor made us scratch out time and add self. She made the point that none of us could really control time. We are not God. We can only control ourselves in the time we are given. And isn't it funny that each and every one of us are given 24 hours in a day. Not some of us 25 hours because we are so special.... or 22 hours because we are not so special...... just 24 hours.
We all have so many "things" in our lives that take up our time. Sometimes it is work, family, friends, chores or just "to do" lists. My goal this year is to give the most time to the things that are the most important in my life. I might even get out of a little house cleaning by doing this!What will we do with the 24 hours that we are given each day?
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